The Untold Story
by edwardandbella4evah
Summary: Alternate ending and sequel to Prinzessin. Courtney and Channa's tale, after they had escaped.
1. Prologue

**So, I was just sitting around today, and then, this storyline finally just hit me. **

**It might be more dramatic than Prinzessin, so beware. **

**Enjoy**

**~Ariel  
><strong>

_Run. _

_Run, and cling to the lives you fought so hard to save._

_Don't be caught._

_Protect Channa._

His words rang in my ears, for many a time to come.

And I braved them proudly. It seemed that the harder I ran, the farther away I did seem to escape. It seemed in my heart, that I had protected her the best I could. Yet things are not always as they seem.

I would have thought I had learned that very lesson, back in the camp. Back when everything had been so hard, so cruel to endure. However, apparently I had taken my learnings too lightly; there was far more to be learned, in the outside world, the world much larger than the one I had come to believe was merely the camp.

So much had I begged for freedom, for escape. It was sheer irony that I almost begged to back in time, back to those days, where everything had been so simple, and I had been in love. I almost would have sold my soul to go back.

Back to when I had my unscathed, perfect little Channa.

Back when I had Duncan, to support me, to help me, to give me cheats, and reliefs.

How little had I understood about reality. About the outside world; and how it could be just as cruel as some concentration camp.

It could be most definitely said that my story had not ended with escaping the camp; not in the very least. There was much more to the mournful, unfortunate tale of mine, and Channa's life.

There have been many, many regrets. Ones that I wish I could have taken back with all my heart; but that was the past, and what's done was done, and there would be nothing more to say on that matter. I tried to believe that everything I had done was for the best intrests of my small daughter, no matter the costs. I wanted her to have a better life than I had, even if it meant splitting my heart in two.

Sometimes I wondered what would have happened if Duncan had never found us, that once. Channa would have never seen her father, since she was a small infant. I would have never gotten married. Things would have changed, greatly. Sometimes I wondered how things would have turned out if Duncan had run away with us, if the guards hadn't suspisciously come, and if Channa, Duncan and I had managed to live in the allegedly splendid house he spoke so much about. Everyday I wondered about my little Channa, how all this had affected her.

Somewhere in my daughter and mine's oddessey, it dawned on me that the harder we ran, the faster they followed; the more she wept, the less I seemed to pay attention; the longer I wished for my husband, the dwindling feeling of him never returning intensified.

I wondered how far I could run away from reality, from truth.

How young I had still been when I left the camp.


	2. Alternate Ending Part 1

**Love you all, Darlings. Keep on reviewing; I hope you all like it**

**~ Ariel  
><strong>

The moment my daughter was pushed out of me, I knew I wasn't going to make it. I felt beyond exhausted, beyond overworked, beyond having the strength to keep going. Yet I sat up anyway, unable to hear the cries of joy from the midwife, or anything anybody else was saying, and held my arms out to see my son. Yet when they placed my child's bloody, purple, wailing body on my chest, it wasn't the son I had expected.

It was my daughter.

Eyes widening and mouth opening, I stared down at her tiny, purple body, unable to believe it. Not the son I so had been expecting, but a daughter instead. And before I could really get a good look at her, she was ripped away from my chest, and I started to cry.

"Give her back!" I nearly wailed, not wanting my daughter taken away from me. I couldn't leave this world without really getting a good look at her; without really able to tell her that Mama loved her, and that Daddy would be here soon to take care of her. I cried for what seemed to be hours before she was handed back to me; I thought they had taken my baby away to be killed. But no, here she was, cleaned and swathed in a seemingly pink cloth, fists flailing around in the air rapidly.

I cried out of joy and brought her tiny fist in my palm, enclosing my hand around hers slowly. "Don't cry now, Mama's here. Mama's here for you…" I cooed softly to my daughter, and within an instant she ceased her wailing and her eyes shot open, staring at me with such intensity I was stunned.

She had Duncan's eyes.

"Hi Baby," I whispered quietly, running my index finger along her soft, pale cheek. She kept staring at me, and I knew that she knew who I was. "I'm sorry I mistook you for a boy, Angel. You're a beautiful baby girl, and you have your father's strength." With a small laugh I played with her bundled feet, staring down at her with nothing but adoration. She forgave me; her wide blue eyes spoke it all. I lifted her up and cradled her in my arms, planting a kiss on her tiny little head. "So pretty…you have hair just like Papa did." I could see Papa in her alright; I wished to have the curls that donned her head and Papa's head alike, but alas, my hair remained straight like my mother's.

I couldn't wait for Duncan to come in and see her. There was no way he could hate her now. I could never, ever hate her, not with the resemblance to her parents. I worked so hard, and here was my reward. I wasn't going to die; not today, not tomorrow, not until I see that my daughter grows up to become something. I was going to live, that was final. Smiling to my daughter, I began to hum a lullaby, watching as her eyes slowly drooped, and her mind whirled into the land of dreams. I snuggled her closer to me and closed my eyes as well, preparing to rest up to see my lover when he came. He would be happy. He should be happy with our daughter. Nothing would change that.

**o 0 O 0 o**

"C'mon, smile, mien Engel. Won't you smile for your Daddy?" I blinked my eyes open, smiling at the display before me. I'd been right; Duncan had taken an immediate liking to Channa when he saw her. The two were inseparable. When he had to leave in the evenings, it almost made me cry to see the heartbreaking expression on his face, night after night—the lasting hormones didn't help much, either. Duncan had ultimately been the one to choose Channa's name; I'd been hesitant, at first, but he wouldn't have had it any other way. It was hard to merely keep my daughter in my arms when he would arrive; he wouldn't let go of her, and damn myself to hell if I was to remove that smile that so lit up his face when he saw her. I'd caused him enough hell these past few months, already.

I blinked my eyes open slowly, stretching my back after having awoken from my light slumber. A sweet sight greeted my dazed, yet rested eyes as I gazed upon the eager father, cuddling his confused daughter. "Duncan, you _do_ know that it will take her weeks, if not months, to smile, yes?" I sleepily muttered, leaning back on my pillows. He focused his attention on me, rather than his daughter for a moment, and strode over to my side, sitting beside me and supporting the baby with one arm, while wrapping the other around my rested frame.

"That's just plain cruelty, right there. I so want to see her smile at me…"

"It'll happen, just give it time." I held my arms out for my daughter, and he reluctantly complied, placing her gently within my eager arms. "Hi baby," I cooed to the wide-eyed baby in my arms. Planting a kiss upon her head, I cuddled her closer, snuggling into my love in the process. Things were perfect. We were one, happy, perfect family.

Finally.

"Prinzessin?" I turned my head, and the sudden movement caused my small child to look up at me, startled. I giggled and tapped her on the nose before turning to my fiancée. "Yes?"

"How are you feeling?" I hummed in speculation before leaning back on the bed.

"Pretty well, since the birth, actually…I just feel like I could use a little more sleep. She only wakes me up a couple of times during the night, but I think it's only when necessary. She's such a quiet girl…" Said girl blinked at me, and I played with her sparse curls, in return.

"I've noticed that, too. Is she going to go to sleep, soon?" I shrugged, looking down at my daughter's wide-awake eyes. "I don't think so. Why do you ask?"

"I wanted to have a talk with you." I blinked, staring at him for a moment, fear starting to rise within me. Was he leaving us? Leaving me, with our _child_? He couldn't be. It was impossible to even think of such a mundane thing. Upon looking at the expression on my face he grasped my chin and kissed my forehead sweetly. "Nothing of bad nature, meine schön Prinzessin, I assure you of that."

"Then what is it?"

"Our escape." My eyes widened as my mind seeped in his words.

Escape…

It had seemed so long ago that we had planned it, that we had set a date, and a perfect plan to execute it. Escape was such a foreign word, to come off of his tongue; I hadn't expected it in the slightest. Our plans to escape before were nearly flawless. Yet now they were full of flaws, due to our child. The small little child who I'd come to adore, cradled in my arms. I didn't think escape was possible, anymore.

"Escape…? Duncan, we can't…Channa…"

"I know. And I've thought about it, long and hard, actually. And don't worry; we'll give it some time. I want to wait at least until she is a month old."

"Why is that…?"

"I don't think it's entirely healthy to sedate her if she's only a few days, or weeks old." My insides froze, and my eyes bulged to the size of dinner plates, my arms becoming tighter around my child.

"No. No way are you sedating my child you filthy, German—"His eyes darkened as they flashed towards our child.

"Yes. We're going to sedate her. It's not _voluntary_, Darling. It's not like I _want_ to drug our baby. But think about it, if we're going to escape, can we really risk her suddenly wailing in the middle of the forest?" I shook my head, stubbornly refusing to believe his words.

"No! We aren't going to sedate her! It's a miracle she made it through the delivery, healthy and perfect! I'm not going to risk my baby's life by drugging her! I won't let you!" I whispered hysterically, tears threatening to leak. I looked down at little Channa, eyes wide and staring at both her parents, wondering why they were fighting. If only she knew. Her supposed father rubbed my shoulder, whispering gently to quit crying and listen to reason. Reluctantly, I took a deep breath and let him speak.

"Don't you think I'm terrified of drugging her, too? I know that she will be fine. Nothing could harm her, our little _wunder_…" He bent forward and kissed her small head, reassuring her that everything would be alright. "However, if we are to escape, she needs to be sedated. It will just be like she's sleeping. You don't even have to watch, I'll do it." I sniffled, burying my head in my hands. I couldn't believe it, but I had to do it. My baby had to be sedated, and there was really nothing I could do about it. After a few moments, I nodded.

"Fine. We'll do, but I'm taking her to a doctor, as soon as we get to—where are we going, exactly?" He chuckled, kissing my head and entwining my hand with his.

"Have you forgotten already, meine Prinzessin? I did what you requested. Wait until you see the beautiful house I bought, and furnished, by hand."

"You did, really?" I asked, astounded and unbelieving he had actually done it. He nodded, lost in thought. "How will we escape? Surely they won't let me stay here for a month…"

"You're right. We might have to leave within the next couple of weeks, before the next commandment. I'll drug her before we leave, and then we'll run into the forest; deep in there. Far beyond the human eye can see. I managed to acquire a car; however we'll have to get out of the woods to acquire it. Don't worry; things will go according to plan. Things will be alright."

"I hope you're right."

**o 0 O 0 o**

A week had passed. No talk of escape had been brought up since then. In fact, he hadn't been around as much as he had been before; maybe because of cover, maybe because he was working. I didn't know, nor really have the desire to find out; I was much too tired for anything. Channa, despite being the little angel that she was, tired me out. She cried half the night, and a quarter of the day as well; I didn't know how much more I could take. However, now, she was quiet. I rubbed her back gently, hoping she would continue to sleep and let me rest, as well.

I closed my eyes, waiting for the serenity to overcome my desolated being, waiting for sleep to grab me out of the mundane world I was living in. It managed to, for a little while. I slept well, for about thirty minutes, before Channa's astoundingly loud wail startled me awake. I groaned, sitting up and prepared to rock her back to sleep before a heavy hand pushed me back down and muttered that I should go back to sleep. Normally, if I had been well rested, I wouldn't have dared listened to the voice, however, I allowed myself to be lulled back to sleep, barely noticing the gentle hand resting atop my head.

My dreams were irrelevant; nothing too interesting or worthy of remembering. All I knew was that I slept peacefully and undisturbed for quite a while; which was odd. Channa should have woken me up at least a couple of times. Slowly and reluctantly, I blinked my eyes open, smiling after I did so.

"Look, meine Engel, the Prinzessin has awoken. Go on and greet her with your presence."

Giggling, I held out my arms for my small daughter and then cradled her close, stroking her pale cheek. "Was Daddy nice to you? Did he give you lots of kisses, and hugs?" She blinked her wide eyes at me and I gasped, feigning shock.

"He didn't? Oh, well that's very bad of Daddy." My fiancée rolled his eyes at my act before reaching for our daughter. I held her tighter, refusing to give her up.

"Mama shouldn't say such mean things if she wants to hold Channa ever again."

"Daddy shouldn't stay away from Mama if _he_ wants to hold Channa ever again." He sighed, as if exasperated with my presence and leaned back on the bed, wrapping his arm around me. "Where have you been?" I asked, eyes furrowing curiously.

"Trying to be inconspicuous, saving my cover; I cannot come here whenever I would like, you know. I do have a job to somewhat maintain." I rolled my eyes, grabbing my child's tiny fingers in my hand and holding them firmly.

"Yes. I know."

We remained a bit quiet after that, only small whispers and Channa's coos now and then to disturb it. "It's been a week…" he spoke suddenly, his voice far away.

"Yes, so? You claimed that we would leave in two, or three more."

He was quiet, after that.

"I'm afraid we cannot go along with that, anymore. We're going to have to leave late tonight."

I blinked. Once slowly, processing what he just said; twice rapidly, wondering what on earth he was thinking. "Are you insane! We can't leave _tonight_! Channa is barely a week old!"

"It is the only option. The commandment decided that tomorrow seems like a good day for a selection, and if you don't want to send yourself and Channa to the smokestack, I suggest you cease your protests, and just accept it." I opened my mouth to protest oncemore, but then closed it; unfortunately, he was right.

"Fine. But I'm not happy about it."

"I wouldn't expect you to be. I'm not so thrilled about it either, but like I said, it is the only option we have. It won't be so bad, I promise."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." I chewed on my lip, staring down at my sleepy-eyed little girl. We really didn't have any say in this matter; it was the only way to get our baby to safety, and a better life.

"Alright, so how are we going to plan this out?" I asked timidly, trying to busy myself with bouncing Channa and trying to get her to sleep.

"I'm going to sedate her, first, then sneak you both out and we'll go out into the woods. I'll request leave right now, to go visit back home. We'll find the car, and then leave to go on the train, and out of this dreaded place forever." I smiled a little, more at my now-sleeping baby than at his words.

"Yes, I understand. That sounds good." He kissed Channa's nose before giving me one of my own, and stood.

"I'll be back in a few hours, okay? Make sure you rest well, and make sure she rests. Eat whatever they give you, get your energy up. Feed her, as well. She won't be eating for a while." I nodded solemnly, holding my child closer to my body.

Then he was gone.

o 0 O 0 o

The hour of one in the morning came, and Duncan silently crept in through the door, slinging his rucksack off his shoulders and roughly throwing it on the bed, startling Channa. I rested my hand on her cheek without looking at her, feeling her tense body calm down in an instant.

"Don't worry. It's just Daddy." He rifled through his bag, squinting against the scarce moonlight, reading the labels on certain jars. I felt like I couldn't breathe as he opened his rucksack and pulled out the empty syringe; I watched it glint mischeviously, mocking me. He pulled out a small bottle filled with the sedation liquid, and I looked away, trying to think of something else.

"No 'hello'?" I shook my head numbly, eyes shut tight.

"She'll be just fine, Prinzessin. Trust me on that," he muttered to my silent conscience. Channa echeoed my worries as she began to whimper; I was so terrified I could hardly comfort her. Duncan turned around, eyes widening upon looking at Channa with her wide blue eyes and whimpering form. He lifted her into his arms swiftly, kissing her cheeks. "Shh, meine Engel. I'll make sure you'll be sleeping safe and sound. Daddy promises." He gave her another kiss and set her back down in my arms.

"I need you to hold her still for me while I inject her with the liquid." I shook my head no feverently, glaring. He mirrored my expression.

"Don't you dare look at me like that. I'm not taking any pleasure in sedating my only daughter. I know of the risks, and I understand the immorality and injustice of what I'm about to do. But if you want me to stop, and risk you losing both your lives, then I won't inject her. Or if you want to just call this all off and send both of you to the crematorium, then fine. Go ahead. But don't even for one moment think that I'm enjoying doing this."

My eyes watered; briskly I nodded, holding Channa upright, and tightly.

"Mama's very sorry, Baby. So, so sorry." She stared at me with scared eyes as she sensed something was wrong. Before she could comprehend Duncan quickly inserted the syringe into her trembling arm, and it hadn't been more than a millisecond before she began to wail.

"Cover her mouth!"

Immediately I did as told, murmuring soft reassurances to her as I caressed her tiny head. I tried not to cry; I did, really., but she just sent me this look in her eyes that broke my heart, and I couldn't stand to see her wail so hard from the pain. I left enough space between my fingers and made sure not to cover her nose so she could still breathe, but on and on she wailed. After injecting the liquid into her body, Duncan removed the empty syringe and put it aside, rubbing Channa's other arm, trying to calm her down.

"She'll be asleep soon; we need to get moving." I nodded and handed her to him, stretching my arms before quietly padding out of my cot. I bent over, and under the cot I pulled out my small bowl; filled to the rim with water. I thirstily slurped a sip or so before Duncan handed me a canteen and I dumped the remaining liquid in there and bottled it.

"Did you happen to bring any more?" He looked up at me from bouncing Channa and nodded.

"We can fill it along the way, at the river."

"Did you happen to bring the rubber band I asked?" He nodded and pulled it off his wrist, handing it to me. I grabbed it and stretched it apart with my fingers before binding my short hair at my nape; it held, but just barely.

"I'm ready; is she asleep, yet?" I asked, peering over his shoulder. Her eyes were slowly drooping shut; I bestowed a kiss upon her tear-stained cheek and picked her up, resting her on my shoulder. "Should we make a sling?"

"Grab the sheet, just in case." I did as he ordered and he grabbed his rucksack as we both stole out of the room, quietly and stealthily as we could manage. He grabbed my hand and led the way out of the shabby hospital.

Freedom.

I could almost taste it.

We ran out the back of the hospital, where we reached the barbed wire; my breath halted in my throat. How could I have forgotten about that? There was no way we could escape without being horribly injured, and I wasn't about to let my baby suffer that. I grabbed his sleeve and pulled him to face me.

"Duncan, what are we going to-" He roughly pressed his finger to my lips and pulled out a pair of wire cutters from his bag. '_Dont. Talk_,' he mouthed harshly. Carefully, yet skillfully, he cut out a big enough hole for us to climb under. He crawled under first,-smoothly and skillfully like any good soldier should-and I very carefully, holding my breath all the while, handed him Channa. She remained asleep, and when I was sure she was okay, I crawled under as well. It took me a while, and I kept thinking we were going to get caught

And then we _ran_.

Keeping a tight hold on Channa, he grabbed my hand and ran deep into the forest, running past trees and bushes that creeped out and seemed to jump out at me. I stumbled on twigs and uprooted branches, and he cussed at me every time I did, whisper screaming to run faster, or else we won't make it. To run faster, to taste the sweet savory taste of freedom. To have a better life for our little girl.

"Shit!" He yelled suddenly, halting in his tracks, both of us breathing heavily. I tried to catch my breath, feeling faint, dizzy. I didn't have the energy to keep running anymore, I felt like throwing up, I felt like dying.

But freedom was so close..

"W-What?" I stammered, still trying to catch my breath.

"I… I forgot the car keys. Prinzessin, I'm so sorry." I couldn't breathe; the blood was pounding so hard in my ears, I could hardly hear what he was saying.

"I'll go get them! I'll be back in just an hour, at the maximum. Just stay, right here, alright?" I nodded feverently, only half hearing what he was saying. I'd figured he'd dropped something along the forest, and was going to retrieve it. He would be back in an hour max. And then we would have our freedom. He handed me Channa, kissed her on the head. and handed me his knapsack.

"If you hear anyone coming after you, and it's not me, you _run. _Run, and cling to the lives you fought so hard to save. Don't be caught. Protect Channa. I'll be back in a little while. I love you, so much." He gave me a quick kiss, and ran off into the dark, while I collapsed against a tree and sank down, cradling my sleeping baby. She looked so peaceful, so at peace. I stroked my fingers along her soft head; how much longer until he was to return? Why hadn't I pleaded with him to stay instead of leaving me?

Trying to calm my erratic heart, I sat and waited for him to return. I counted the seconds, then minutes in my head. I trained my ears for the sound of footsteps.

Instead I heard dogs barking.

And multiple shouts in German.


	3. Alternate Ending Part 2

**Short chapter, I know, but I just wanted to get it up. Somehow, I feel that this story isn't going as good as I'd like. If it doesn't boost up a little bit, I think I might call it quits.**

**Much love, **

**~Ariel  
><strong>

The bitter yelling and harsh footsteps ran through my mind, never seeming to stop. I clutched Channa tightly to my chest, praying for a sign, praying for a miracle; just one. The words increased in volume and I began to tremble, trying to hide myself and my newborn daughter the best that I could, trying to shield us from the Nazi's wrath. My heart thumped louder; my teeth chattered; I knew we would be killed on the spot.

I tried to come up with a quick plan in my head; if they continued to come closer, I would hide Channa in a bush, and let them take me, torture me, and kill me. Duncan could find her; she would at least receive the purest, slimmest chance of survival. I held my breath, preparing to run, yet listening to the volume of the voices. I assumed it was my head merely thinking that they had gotten a bit quieter. So I sat, and waited.

Only when they were hardly audible, did I quietly get up, and run.

I ran as hard as I could, not caring that my lungs were on fire and that my breath was coming in short, ragged whispers. I just held Channa close, and ran fast. I didn't know where I was going, or where I was running to, yet all I knew was that we were getting out of the forest. I would run to Switzerland if I had to.

As far as I was concerned, I ran all day. I ran until the early morning turned to dawn; I ran until dawn turned to dusk. Only when I heard the crickets chirping, and the owls hooting did I stop and collapse on the forest floor, trying to gently push Channa aside before I heaved into a thorny bush. I was almost convinced I had heaved out blood, from the way my throat was burning. My breathing tried to settle into normal pace, and I limped against a rotting tree, trying to regain my vision.

I stared at my unconscious daughter; now I truly saw how blessed it was that Duncan had drugged her. Mentioning his name, my stomach sank.

Duncan was gone.

I had run away without him, without any clue where I was going. How could I ensure my daughter a safe and trusted future now? Who would be there and take care of me, when I needed it? Biting my lip, I felt the bitter tears burn in my eyes before I angrily brushed them away.

No.

No more crying.

I soon realized that from now on, it was just Channa and I, and I was her mother; meaning it was up to me to be strong and be there for her, no matter how hard it was, or inexperienced I was. No heartbreak, or missing father, or any other excuse I could possibly come up with mattered. I grabbed the rucksack close and opened it, rifling through it. I had the smallest hope that Duncan had been smart enough to pack some supplies, in case of an emergency. To my great joy, I managed to uncover quite a wad of money, two extra canteens of water, a bottle for Channa-my heart twinged, thinking how much thought he had put into making sure she was settled, too-, more sedative, an empty syringe-now my heart sank-, and a day or twos worth of food.

While it was enough to make it last for a few days, it wasn't enough. I'd have to find some food in the forest, and when we got out, I could use the money for transportation to wherever took me and my daughter farthest away from here, and then I would figure everything out from there. I smiled a little; I could figure things out. I could get a job, find a home, and raise Channa until Duncan returned to us.

Numbly, I kissed my daughter's head and tucked her tiny body into a nest of leaves, pulling my sweater off and covering her with it. She should be warm, while it didn't matter if I didn't. I grabbed the rucksack and slung it over my shoulder, exploring the forest with the vivid moon as my only light. I listened for the sound of trickling water, walking towards it and cupping some with my hand, sipping at it hesitantly. Fresh water; how long had it been since I'd had some? The water was ice cold, yet I still peeled off my remaining clothes, and shrugged my hair out of the elastic, wading in and scrubbing myself vigorously with my bare hands.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd bathed myself.

I didn't even pay attention to the temperature of the water; all that I savored was the clean feeling over my skin, how soft and clean my hair felt, and the pure taste of freedom in my mouth. I almost laughed and burst into song at how joyous I felt. It didn't matter that my daughter and I were in danger, it didn't matter that Duncan wasn't escaping alongside us; all that mattered was that I was free, and nobody could take that away; not anybody.

Giddily I climbed out of the river and pulled my clothes over my damp body, shakily filling the canteens with the cool water and capping them tightly. I nibbled on a small piece of bread as I walked back to where my daughter lay, pulling her into my lap and holding her tightly, kissing her repeatedly; thanking her for this wonderful, magnificent chance at freedom. I didn't dare think of sleeping; it would be too dangerous. For now, I felt so euphoric and well rested, that I picked Channa up, slung the rucksack on my back and started to walk.

I didn't run hysterically like before, nor walk in a quickened pace. I took my time, settling on a leisurely stroll, and noticed all the sights and smells I had missed out on while locked up in the camp. The forest never seemed to end, a worry that I pushed far back in my mind, trying not to worry about it for now. Channa would be asleep for another day or so, and I was going to make the most of walking while I could.

I didn't want to be the one to drug her.

The morning light shone through the glittering sky sooner than I would have liked; the day offered less comfort, less of a chance to be hidden and free.

Sighing, I made my steps quicker.


	4. Chapter ThreeFour all in one

Running was my daily routine.

Sleep? Food? I almost laughed at the thought.

I ran until my breathing was gone and my arms were numb from the seemingly-dead baby I was carrying. Not until night did I dare stop, resting against a hollow tree and focusing on catching my breath. It seemed almost odd that the baby in my arms never woke, not once. Yet I knew she would awaken soon; it had been two days already since he had injected her. I really hoped I wouldn't have to inject her myself; otherwise I would surely go mad.

Last night was the worst; an ice storm had come to overtake the night, and I spent it shivering, clutching my child closet to my chest, trying to keep her, to say nothing of me, warm. I cried, for hours, from the pain my entire body suffered from all the cold. Yet when morning came, feeling numb, I continued to walk.

Today, finally, I had made some process; the forest began to thin out; I could see patches of light coming ahead. I walked a bit faster, noticing it was already dawn. The forest did continue to clear out, until finally, gasping for air, I stumbled into a small marketplace, just beginning to prepare for a busy day of sales.

Finally, real freedom at last.

Bouncing Channa in my arms, I walked towards an elderly man, wishing I didn't look as forlorn and horrid as I did, now.

"Excuse me? Sir?" He looked up at me, and tried to hide the shock in his eyes, and I was very grateful for that. Perhaps he would be kind enough to help me. I wished I had shoes as I hopped from foot to foot, trying to avoid too long of a contact with the frozen ground.

"Can you please direct me to the nearest train station?" He chuckled and shook his head at me, starting to shovel some soft flakes from around his small market.

"I'm sorry, but the trains aren't working as of now. The ice storm last night froze the tracks over, and it seems it's going to take a few days to get them working again." I fought the urge to curse under my breath. What was I to do now? Camp for two more days out in the cold? I couldn't bear take another night like the last, and Channa could catch pneumonia. Surely, if she did, she would die.

"You seem distressed. Are you trying to make it home, from somewhere?" I bit my lip, refusing to answer, trying to swallow bitter tears and come up with some solution.

"Do you need help?" It wasn't the man who answered, but instead a middle aged woman, with many creases in her brow. "It seems like you've been on a long journey, if you need a place to stay for a while, I can offer you one." I curiously looked her over, trying to figure out if I could trust her.

"I don't want to be a burden, Miss…" I spoke timidly, clutching my baby to my chest.

"It's no burden at all, and I think I should like the company. It's been long since a child has been under my roof. Come, I'll make sure you get a hot bath, a change of clothes, and plenty to eat." The look in her eyes was so warm, so kind, so eager, that I could only nod my head and let her lead me to her home.

"There will be be plenty of time for questions and such later, yes? As soon as we have made sure you and your child have been taken care of." Not used to this type of kindness, my eyes watered.

"Thank you…"

Her name was Anya Suvoletzki, and I was quick to learn that her generosity had no boundaries. She didn't live in the village I had walked into, but instead in a neighboring village not too far. As soon as I stepped into her home, she started a fire, and put my child to bed, ushering me towards the bath immediately. She filled the tub with hot water, and helped me get rid of the clothes I wanted to burn so badly. When she pulled the elastic out of my hair, I yelped in pain, as it tugged hard. I watched her curious glance at my short, jagged hair, and ratty clothes; but she asked no questions, and I was grateful. I would be able to make up something later, when it came time for questions.

I stayed in the bath for a long while; scrubbing every ounce of dirt out of my hair and skin, and finally, under hot water, I finally felt cleansed of some of the grief that clung to me like a leech. I remained in the tub until the water grew cold, and my skin pruned. Pushing back uneven hair from my face, I stepped out and wrapped myself in a fluffy white towel, stepping into the room she had told me was to be mine. I smiled upon looking at my baby, lightly asleep in a bed.

There were unfamiliar clothes laid out for me, but I didn't question, or hesitate to dry off and put them on. My skin tingled in the forgotten feeling of comfortable fabric, and I couldn't help but marvel in how clean and wondrous I felt. I looked at my face in the mirror, hardly recognizing myself from the last time I looked; that was when I first found out I was pregnant. Was that clean, hopeful human in the reflection really me? Or was it merely my mind, toying with hopefulness?

My mind broke out of my trance when a sharp knock from the door jolted me. "Yes?" my voice asked softly, blinking my eyes when Anya stepped into the room.

"I just wanted to see if you needed anything… Are the clothes to your liking? They're not exactly your size, but their all I had on such short notice. And I can certainly make you some if you need…" she trailed off, while I grabbed a comb and sat on the edge of my bed.

"Oh, no, please don't go through such troubles for me… These clothes are clean, and in good condition, so they're fine with me. Thank you for temporarily housing Channa and I, it means a lot... And I promise, we won't stay very long, to be a burden…" I whispered softly, trying to avert my eyes and busying myself with combing my hair, which seemed a near impossibly task on its own. She chuckled and came over, sitting beside me on the bed.

"Let me do that...it seems like a mess." I turned around, and trying not to cringe, or cry out from the pain, I let her brush the thicket of thorns from my head.

"I made you a light dinner…it's late, but it'll have to do until morning…but what do you say you eat, get to bed early, and tomorrow you will help me with my chores; let's consider that your payment to your stay. I nodded vigorously; that was a price I was extremely more than willing to pay. For half an hour she tried to pull the knots from my hair, and I couldn't help but whimper.

"Will it have to be cut out…?" I asked hesitantly, twisting my fingers in my hands.

"I don't believe so, Dear. I'll have this smoothed out in just a few more minutes; however, if you'd like, I could even it out for you, make it look a bit better?" I nodded, grateful.

"Tomorrow?"

"Whatever you'd like." Channa gave a sharp sound from my bed, and my head snapped over in alarm, worried she was hurt, or that she would start bawling. However, her tiny fists flailed for a quick moment and she resumed her slumber, peaceful and undisturbed.

"How old is she?"

"Only about two weeks, and three days old." Anya chuckled lightly, giving another glance to Channa. "What's her name?"

"Channa. Channa Ehrlichmann."

"Very beautiful. Not something you'd hear around here, eh?"

"No," I breathed quietly. "I suppose not." Finally, after an eternity of pulling, whimpering, and cringing, the comb finally cleared the thicket of tangles and pulled freely along my aching scalp. I yawned, staring at my sleeping baby before running a hand through my smoothed out hair, and tiredly rubbing my eyes.

"Thank you," I muttered sleepily.

"It's no problem at all. Come, eat something and get to bed." In a tired daze I slumped to the kitchen and only picked at my bowl of broth. The sleep clouded my mind after having none of it for quite some time. My spoon slithered around in small circles around the bowl, the motion almost hypnotizing me to fall asleep on the spot.

"Oh my, look at you, nodding off on your feet… You must be tired from your journey. Get along to bed and get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow is a new day with much to be done." As if already dreaming, I bade her goodnight and collapsed into my bed, holding Channa close, more comfortable than I could remember being in my life.

I dreamt of Duncan. He ran through the same forest I had only just escaped, calling my name, calling Channa's name, trying to find us both. Before I could let him know we were alright, and where we were, I had awoken and he was gone.

But waking up turned to be quite the surprise, for there was my daughter, wide awake with her wide blue yes intently staring at me, just waiting for me to wake. I smiled warmly, reaching out to caress her pale cheek

"Hi, Baby…" I cooed softly, running my fingers gently along her smudged cheek. "Mama's so glad you're awake, now… Mama missed you, she did…" I whispered softly, scooping her up and holding her close to me. She only looked at me in her quiet, curious way, accepting my warm embraces and affection with no complaint.

She looked so much like Duncan, yet like me as well, and she was so exceptionally beautiful. Instinctively I leaned down and kissed her head, gently stepping out of the warm bed.

"You must be hungry, little one, hm? Let Mama go find your bottle, and then we'll see what we can do…" I picked up the rucksack from the floor and rifled through it, looking for her bottle. "Where did that thing go…?" In looking through all the pockets for her bottle, my hands met with the smooth feeling of thick paper, and in confusion I pulled out a creamy off-white envelope, addressed: _Prinzessin_.

The letter dropped from my hands as if it had burned me; how could I have overlooked this until now? With trembling hands, I set Channa down on the bed, and picked up the envelope, proceeding to open it.

_Dearest Prinzessin,_

_If you're reading this, then we are separated from each other, having gotten lost or some other inconvenience that managed to pull us apart. I'm not too surprised, what with our luck, eh?_

_Anyways, I've written this to you so that we do manage to get in touch and find each other again, sooner rather than later. Without me, you can't get to our home, and I hope to God you've managed to encounter some luck and gotten you and Channa safely to some remote destination._

_I'm deeply, truly sorry for whatever it is that has split us up. I know you must be scared, and lonely out there, wondering what to do, and how to get through everything. I hope you and Channa are alright, I really, really do. _

_If you're near a phone, call me to the number listed at the bottom of the page. You must make up a fake name. Say you are my sister, calling to inform me of our father's illness, or something. Just make up something good, to make sure I know it is you. I know I would want to hear if you and Channa are alright, immediately._

_If you aren't able to reach me by phone, I will enclose a different address, and send me some type of letter, or something to let me know you are alive, free, and well. I will be checking that location, almost every day for your response._

_I love you, Dearest Prinzessin, and I hope all is well. I look forward to hearing from you soon._

_-Duncan_

My eyes reread the letter countless times before the tears filmed my eyes; there was still hope! Still a way we could be together as a family! I looked towards my staring daughter and affectionally kissed both her cheeks. "We can find Papa, now!" Her eyes took on a confused look, wise beyond her age, and I rushed into the kitchen. Anya stood in the kitchen, furtively making us all breakfast.

"Please, is there a phone booth nearby? Anywhere?" Her eyes gleamed brightly.

"Why good morning to you too. I didn't expect you to be awake until much, much later." My cheeks flushed at my lack of proper manners and my brain stammered in response.

"Is this an important phone call? Because this neighborhood only has one, in the market."

"Yes, yes! I must get to it! It's very important, very much so." Anya smiled wryly at my, reaching for my daughter. With a bit of reluctance, I allowed her to take my child.

"I'll give the little one her breakfast while you do your errands; do you think you can manage on your own?"

I nodded hesitantly. "Most definitely."

As fast as I could, I changed clothes into something more suitable for the late winter weather, stuffed my hair into a woolen hat, and dashed off towards the phone booth Anya had so carefully explained to me where it was. My breath made cold puffs as I ran, and I was grateful for the borrowed gloves, coat and hat.

I had almost passed the strange contraption, and in my haste to reach it I slipped on a patch of ice. The cold, almost numb feeling hardly registered as I grabbed the phone and dialed it, careful to get all the numbers right exactly the way he had written them.

As the phone rang, my stomach clenched. What if it was the wrong number? What it I was risking my life, just by using the phone to call him? What if I couldn't reach him...?

_"Hallo. Wie kann ich Ihnen helfen?"_ My insides froze, and I had to scramble in my mind for the few words I did know in German.

"Duncan. Brauchen Sie sprechen Duncan." I sputtered out, trying but ultimately failing to keep my voice steady.

_"Wer spricht?"_ I remembered he had warned me to disguise my voice and fall under the name of his dead sister.

"Schwester. Schwester Angelika."

_"Einen Moment."_ All was quiet. Had I been caught? Were they going to all march towards my location, find and kill me? My heart beat unsteadily as I waited for somebody on the other line to begin speaking again.

_"Prinzessin?"_ My voice lodged in my throat, and as hard as I could, I couldn't stop the emotional lump from forming. The tears trickled down my cheeks, as there was no denying that was his voice. Would he still want me?

"Duncan..."

_"Oh Gott sei Dank... Prinzessin. It's such a relief to hear your voice..."_ I nodded, biting my lip as the tears cascaded down my cheeks. I knew I was supposed to stay strong, for Channa, to rely on only myself. But hearing his voice opened the closed up wounds, and I couldn't stop the emotions from spilling. _"Prinzessin? Are you there?"_

"Y-Yes. I'm here..."

_"Are you and Channa alright? Are you safe? Has she woken, and is she okay? God, I'm so sorry that things turned out like this... I would have tried to find you if I could, but I got tied up, here."_

"Channa and I are fine. For the meantime, we are safe, though I'm not sure for how long. She's awake, and happily acting as usual. I can tell she misses you, though. She keeps staring at your bag, like you're going to come back and take it." I heard a soft chuckle on the other line, and my eyes watered once more.

_"I miss you both, so much... I'm so glad you both are alright."_

"Duncan, what are we going to do? How are we ever going to get home? Will we ever meet again?"

_"I can't really say, Prinzessin...I'm sorry this all happened…"_

"Duncan I'm scared! You left me, all alone with our sedated child in the forest! I didn't know what I was doing! We could have been killed! I still don't know what I'm doing! I don't know where to go, or anything! I don't know what to do..." I sniffled, choking back the pitiful sobs I knew he would reprimand.

_"I'm so sorry...I know you're scared, but...for right now, there's nothing I can do. I need to stay low, and until this has all simmered down some. Write me, every chance you get. Take pictures, if you can. I'll write you back, when you tell me you're in a secure enough location. When that happens, I'll try to get there as soon as I can. Alright?"_

I sniffled, wiping my eyes. There would be no better choice, I realized. I had to tough it up, be there for my daughter and protect us both. I now knew that for the time being, Duncan wouldn't be here for either of us. It would be just me and her.

"Yes. I understand the circumstances."

"Don't be mad, or upset my sweet little Prinzessin...We'll be together again, and raise Channa together."

"I know that. Right now, I have to go. She's waiting for me."

"I understand…I love you, Prinzessin. And Channa too. I swear, we'll be together again, eventually. I swear on it."

"Good, I love you too; and I'll write. Don't worry, we'll manage. Good luck."

"Bye, Prinzessin."

And then the line went dead.

I sunk to the floor after hanging up the phone, processing everything in my mind. Channa and I were going to be alone, for God knew how long. No help, no support; everything was put onto my shoulders, now. In those five minutes I sat on the ground, I matured five years.

I stood and brushed myself off, heading back in the direction I came.  
>o 0 O 0 o<p>

It was early evening, now. I sat with a book in the parlor, idly trying to distract myself. Channa was sleeping, and I needed something to pass the time while I waited for sleep to invite itself upon me. Before I could really engross myself in the novel, however, Anya came into the room, a tray laden with a pot of tea, two teacups, and a plate of cookies in her palms. I straightened, then stood to assist her.

"I just thought you'd like to have a cup of tea, while we get to discussing... you know." My face blanched, and I quickly sat down, fingers twisting.

"Here, Dear." She quickly thrust a cup of tea into my shaking palms, and I hastily took a few sips to calm my nerves. "If you and your daughter would like to keep staying here, then I insist on knowing how you came to this situation in the first place." I swallowed, fighting the hysteria rising through my body.

"Take your time."

Closing my eyes, I tried to find an excuse. Something; anything, really. I used to be able to make up stories; oh, where had that ignorance and fairytale mind gone?

"I ran away, from home…"

"You can't be more than eighteen."

"Yes," I paused, staring at my cup of tea, hoping it could give me some answers. Alas, it was only a piece of china, filled with tea. "You're right about that…"

"Why did you run away?"

"I was raped...Forced into a marriage by my parents, and then he abused me; he took advantage of me. When I was pregnant with Channa, I left… I didn't want her to suffer the same kind of life I had to go through. So I packed up a few meager supplies, and ran out."

"When you were pregnant with your daughter? How did you give birth to her?" The lies flew out effortlessly.

"It was a few weeks ago...a bad snowstorm. I was feeling the contractions all day, searching for a hospital, for help." I shuddered, remembering the awful pain. "I thought I was going to die...I fell on the snow, and the bleeding started, and wouldn't stop. Somebody heard the screaming, I don't remember who, and then I gave birth, with their assistance. They took me in for a couple of days, then suggested I get both Channa and I to a hospital. I didn't have the money to pay for lodging, or a hospital, so they kicked me out."

"Oh, how awful…" Her face was crumpled in pain from my made up story. I tried not to feel the guilt.

"And that's how I ended up here. I just wandered along, trying to scrape up some money for a train station, for something. Anywhere to get me far, far away from where I was."

"That's quite a tale. I can see it in your eyes, you've been through a lot."

"Oh, yes," I breathed quietly. More than she could ever know.

"Where did you plan on going?" she asked, sipping from her steaming cup.

"I'm not too sure… I want to find a job, make some money, and perhaps get my own home somewhere to raise Channa." And maybe even find my lost love, somewhere along the way.

"You know you're welcome here, for as long as you'd like…" I smiled at her.

"I know, and really, thank you very much for all the kindness and hospitality you have shown my daughter and I."

"If you're going to be leaving, soon... then at least, let me help you out until then. I can help you sew, or perhaps buy you some clothes. Gather up supplies, help you look like you belong, more, to this country...maybe even give you some tips, with your daughter...?"

"You're a mother, too?" Her eyes took on a shadowed appearance, and she busied herself with pouring more tea into both our cups.

"Yes... to two. My son is seventeen, and he left to go fight in the army. And I had a little girl, as well."

"I see…" I didn't want to press the matter further because her body language immediately became tense and unfocused. I didn't want to take advantage of her marvelous hospitality.

"It's getting late... I should head to bed."

"Oh, so soon? I thought maybe you'd like it if I fixed your hair for you... and besides, I didn't mean to shoo you off… You didn't offend me, in any way at all. You were only curious, and that's fine. Come, I'll tell you my story." I was hesitant at first, setting my teacup down and moving to stand.

"It's no bother, you don't have to tell me. I should check on Channa, anyways."

"Then check on her and then come back, I'll get the materials ready in the meantime. Trust me, it's no bother to tell the story."

"Well..." What else could I say? And truly, I was curious. "Alright." I stepped out of the room and into my own, sitting on the bed next to where Channa lay sleeping. I bestowed a kiss on her small head, letting it linger for a few more moments. How simple her life was; she put all her trust in anybody that picked her up and fed her. Her life seemed so simple, yet she was always over-complicating it with her eyes. Those blue eyes like her father's, that bore into my very soul and seemed to know all my secrets. Such thoughts made me jerk back, and I calmed down quickly, knowing she was only an infant. An infant that didn't have to worry about being killed, or starving, or the love of her life never finding her; no, all she had to worry about would when would she next be fed.

Shaking my head, laughing slightly, I closed the door and stepped out of the room, a bit surprised to see Anya there, all the materials ready. "Sit, sit," she beckoned, leading me towards one of the kitchen chairs she had brought into the living-room. I sat quickly before I could change my mind to salvage the hair I had left. She draped a sheet around me, and messed with my hair a bit, a hot blush spreading quickly across my cheeks.

"Goodness, Sweetie, what did you do, hack it off with a butchers knife?" I smiled, shaking my head no, another lie forming on the tip of my tongue.

"I had to sell it, to pay for Channa's delivery. They wouldn't let Channa out of the hospital unless I could pay something for my short stay, so I sold it for a very decent price, gave most of it to the hospital, and used the amount leftover for our needs. There isn't much money left, I'm afraid. Only bits and pieces I managed to gather from the streets, and by doing menial tasks for whoever wanted it."

"My, you're quite a trooper, aren't you?" If only she knew.

"I'd like to think so." So the silent snipping began, and I hoped she would save what was left of my hair to make it look somewhat decent to society.

"I had a daughter, named Eleanor. My husband had loved the name, and I admit, so did I. She had dark auburn hair, like mine, although I admit mine is fading," she chuckled, "and she had hazel eyes, like her father's. She was our second child, our first, my eldest son, Nathan, who I told you is currently seventeen, and fighting in the army, on the Ally side."

"On the Ally side?" My eyebrows scrunched in confusion. From the extent that Duncan told me about the war, the Allies were places like Britain, France and Poland. From what I knew, we were in Germany.

"Yes. You see... the Axis powers killed both my husband and daughter." I gasped, unable to contain any measure of politeness I had within me.  
>"Yes... they were murdered, both of them, by a couple of Nazi soldiers. He had taken her for a trip to the city, for she so wanted to go. Reluctantly, I had allowed them both to go. My son was in school, and he needed the quiet time away from his little sister to study. They were at the wrong place at the wrong time, and... I don't know all the details, all I know is that there was a mix-up, some type of revolt and he was shot first. She was yelling and crying so loud when they demanded for silence, they killed her too." Her voice chocked up a little, and I admit even my eyes were burning.<p>

"My son and I were both devastated. He adored little Eleanor, always following him around. It was a travesty, what happened."

"Indeed, it is... I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter, and husband." She chuckled sadly, brushing my hair before carefully trimming the edges.

"She promised me she would bring me home something from the village. I see her innocence in your daughter; it leads to great things. You should be very blessed." Hand pressed against my heart, the image of my tenderly sleeping baby in the med planted in my head, I knew I was.

As my cut hair fell to the floor, I knew another piece of my innocence was cut off, the very same way.

o 0 O 0 o

Another couple of days went by smoothly; I spent the day sewing, mostly, and tending to Channa. With Anya's help, I quickly learned how to create dresses, socks, and onesies for my little Channa and I. Sometimes I strolled through the village, buying a warm loaf of bread for my mere enjoyment, or a new spool of yarn to make more clothes; some heavy, and some light for the spring was coming.

I called Duncan as often as I could; he always asked if Channa and I were okay, and wanted to know detailed explanations what we did all day, how we spent our time, and if we missed him as greatly as he missed us. Once I brought Channa to the village with me, pushing her gently in an old carriage Anya had for her children. I held the phone to her ear while he said sweet nothing's to her, asking her how she was and if she missed her daddy. Of course, she gave no response, but her eyes always gleamed curious and bright whenever he spoke to her. When I told him this, I could tell he was very pleased.

I let Anya tend to Channa as much as she pleased, often taking notes of what she did through my peripheral vision. I felt guilty, that I had a daughter and she had lost hers, so I tried to make up for it by letting her delight herself with my own. Besides, I needed the time to sew, mend, and create as many outfits as I could for the both of us. Sadly, in two days, I could say I had accomplished a single, simple dress for me, and two pairs of socks for Channa. It wasn't much, but I hoped to accomplish more in the time I spent here.

It was early evening, and today, Channa had chosen to not stop wailing. My ears were ringing, and I could tell Anya had her hands full with tending to dinner and the house chores to deal with a screaming infant. I picked her up from the sofa and bounced her, leaning her on my chest. "Alright Baby, Mama's here, what do you need?" And she persisted with the wailing. She wasn't hungry, nor did she need to be changed, and she would simply not fall asleep. I quickly decided that some fresh air would do the both of us some good; perhaps Duncan's voice could quiet her, for she always seemed so trance-like when he spoke to her.

I bounced her and carried her to the room, dressing her in an old coat and onesie of Eleanor's, and gently tucked her into the carriage with a thin blanket covering her. The evening air was chilly, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Still the fresh air did nothing to soothe my child.

"Channa, really, could you just tell me what you need?" She only wailed louder, her fists curled up in tiny little balls and her beautiful eyes were shut tightly. Having no other choice, I walked to the village.

Nobody stared at me as if I was an outsider anymore. Besides the fact that I wasn't German, my hair and clothes were just like everybody else's. I put on a pound or so, maybe, but I felt so much better. I felt alive, so full of energy, and so free, it was unexplainable. There was a healthy blush in my cheeks that had been absent for so long, I smiled for so long after I had noticed it. I felt good, so good, and despite my wailing child, I grinned.

On the way, I picked up a flower, hoping the curiosity of this foreign object would calm her until we got to the pay phone. I was half right; it calmed her half the way there. As soon as we got to the pay phone, she opened her eyes, but the wailing did not cease. I dialed Duncan's number hurriedly, going through the usual bypass of whoever picked up.

_"Prinzessin?"_ I sighed in relief.

"Yes, it's me. Please, talk to Channa, she's been crying all day, and I think your voice might be the only thing to calm her down."

_"Are you sure there isn't anything else wrong? I don't know too much about babies... but did you feed her? Or change her? Maybe she's tired, or she has a rash? Or, perhaps she's hurt?"_ I sighed.

"No, none of that. I changed her three times already, checked for a rash, tried to feed her and put her to bed, and my goodness, she won't stop crying. You'd think someone stabbed her with a pin the way she keeps crying."

_"Alright, give her to me."_ I plucked Channa up from the carriage, cradling her in my arms, and holding the phone to her ear. I couldn't hear what he was saying, but she quieted, and for that I was very grateful. She pawed at the phone, and it saddened my heart to see her want her father. She turned her head to look at me, and I pulled the phone towards me.

"Thank you..."

_"No problem, Prinzessin. You sound tired."_

"Honestly, I am. It's been a long day of her incessant wailing. But I'm really glad you helped quiet her…"

_"Anytime."_

"You know, we're not that far from the camp... You could come visit us, or stay with us…"

_"Courtney, I can't, and you know that."_

"No, I don't see why you can't. We're not that far, and your daughter and I miss you and want to see you." My temper rose, not understanding in the least; did he not want to see us?

_"Prinzessin, no. That's the final word on the subject."_

"Fine, enjoy your fucking hell," I spat, hanging up the phone, throwing it back into place; Channa sucked on her fingers. I put her back in the carriage and began to walk back, both annoyed and hurt that he didn't want to see us. Taking a deep breath, I strolled into the village, along the bordering neighborhoods, merely strolling around, looking at the scenery.

And that's when I saw them.

Three Nazi guards, all from the camp, I knew that for sure. They stood at a door of a man's house, asking him rough questions in German. With my limited vocabulary, I caught the word 'prisoner' and 'reward'. They didn't have a picture, nor an accurate description, but all they had to say was that the prisoner was jewish, so that ruled out anybody blonde and blue eyes. They also knew she had a baby with her.

My feet were frozen to the spot; they were after me. After me and Channa. My breath lodged in my throat, and I looked down at Channa, happily slurping on her fingers. Slowly, carefully, I turned around, and walked away. When I was far enough away, I ran, ran back to the safety and protection of Anya's house. The village was an hour away by foot, and I didn't see any cars nearby. I calculated the time it would take for questioning and searching through houses, and figured I only had a few hours to escape.

Anya wasn't home when I came back; she left me a note, saying she had gone to the other neighborhood to visit some friends, and would be back late; soup was on the stove. I pulled at my hair; what was I going to do? First thing, I fed Channa and packed bottles of milk for her; I didn't know how long we would be on the road for, and I wanted to take all preliminary cautions. I threw all the baby bottles that were in the cupboard into the rucksack. Then came the clothes I had sewn and borrowed from her; I admittedly took more clothes than I needed from the closet.

For Channa, I wasn't sure what to do. I knew where Anya kept Eleanor's old baby clothes, but it ached my heart to steal them from her. I bit my lip; should I be cruel to my only benefactor and take her daughter's clothes, or should I risk endangering me own child in the long run? The answer was quite obvious.

I grabbed as many clothes as I thought Channa would need and crammed them into the rucksack messily. This was followed by two pairs of shoes, one for the each of us, sewing material, and as much food as I could cram in there. I slurped down a bowl of soup hastily and made sure I had enough money for the train; plenty. With Channa held tightly in my arms, I scrawled down a small note to Anya.

And then we were off, not knowing where we were headed to, or what was to happen.

o 0 O 0 o

Anya returned later than expected, happy from the bit of wine she had drank, glad to spend time with old friends. Yet she was also glad to be back home; a home now full of life, what with the young girl and her child. Anya couldn't have been happier; the house had been quiet for so long now, she was glad some youthful vigor had returned.

Yet when she stepped inside the house, it was empty. She called out to Courtney, but no response came. It was very dark outside; and she should have been home hours ago; she couldn't stop but fretting over where they were.

She searched the house for them, but to no avail. However, she found a many pieces of clothing that had belonged to Eleanor were gone, and so were some clothes from the closet. Her eyes narrowed; had the girl really stolen from her and ran off with no excuse? As much as she fought not to believe it, here was the clear and plain evidence in front of her very eyes. Bitter tears filled the gray orbs; there must be some explanation. She was almost positive that she wouldn't have done such a thing.

Suddenly a knock at the door came. Face lighting up with relief, she rushed towards the door and flung it open; but it wasn't Courtney and Channa's faces she saw. No, instead three masculine, hard and cruel faces stared back at her.

"Can I help you?"

"We have an escaped prisoner running amok. Jew. Around eighteen. She should be with a small infant. Have you seen or heard anything?" Anya's face went blank; then suddenly she smiled.

"No, I can't say I have. You may look around all you'd like, but I'm afraid you won't find a thing. Things don't really happen much like this in the outskirts. Check the town, over there." She pointed to the opposite direction from the train station. The leader nodded brusquely at her.

"Thank you for your time, Ma'am." And then they were gone, just like that. They believed her unquavering, gentle voice, and her eagerness to help, or really foil, them. She closed the door, mind whirring with thoughts. A spot of cream caught her eye, and she gently picked up a tiny note. She smiled after reading it, putting it back down and heading to bed. There was hope for her, yet.

_Thank you, for all your kindness. I wish I could return the favor, but right now I cannot. Although, I finally decided on Channa's full name._

_Love, _  
><em> Courtney, and Channa Eleanor Anya Ehrlichmann<em>

German to English translation.

_"Hallo. Wie kann ich Ihnen helfen?"_ Hello, how can I help you?

"Duncan. Brauchen Sie sprechen Duncan." Duncan. Need speak Duncan.

_"Wer spricht?"_ Who's speaking?

"Schwester. Schwester Angelika." Sister. Sister Angelika.

_"Einen Moment."_ One moment.

_"Oh Gott sei Dank..." _Oh thank god.. 


	5. New Beginnings

So laugh in your loneliness

Child of the wilderness

Learn to Be lonely

Learn how to love life that is lived alone

~POTO

"That will be €30."

"Per ticket?" I fiddled with my colicky child in one arm, and the leather wallet in the other.

"No, the child's ticket is €5."

"Why shouldn't she ride free? She's just a baby, not a child." The man sighed, obviously not willing to deal with customers this early in the morning.

"I don't make the rules. Besides, she's crying. I'll let you know now that if the doesn't stop, somebody will kick you off the train, without a refund for causing a disturbance to the other, private passengers."

"You must be joking."

"I'm afraid not, Miss. Make your choice fast, because the 6:45 is gonna be rolling around here any minute now." Biting my lip, I shoved the money at him, watching eagerly as he rolled out the two tickets.

"Have a safe trip, Miss." Not bothering to answer back, I shoved the wallet in the rucksack and rushed past him towards the train stop. Channa bellowed like there were pins sticking in her bottom.

I sat on a bench and rocked her back and forth. "Shh, sweet baby. We're going to be okay, now. We're going to have our own home, and your Papa will come back soon enough, and we'll all be together again, as a family. So there's no need to cry, now." I hadn't really believed that my words would quiet her, so I wasn't too surprised when they didn't. I hummed to myself and continued to rock her, hoping she would fall asleep.

I was nervous; now I was really on my own. The world around me was so big, outside the camp. Where exactly were we going? How was I going to support myself, and Channa? The train rolled into the station at six forty five on the dot, and I stepped on it, almost hopeful.

The future was bright, I knew it had many good things in store for us; after all, if God had wanted us to fail and suffer, he wouldn't have let us get this far. I was sure of that.

When the train pulled away from the station, my heart fluttered like a butterfly. With every roll of the wheels, I knew I was getting further and further away from danger, closer and closer towards real freedom. I lifted Channa to see the window.

"See, Baby? See the land rolling past us; we're safe, now. They won't ever get us, I promise." I smiled and planted a kiss on her head. She sniffed, and her wails stopped, and she merely looked at me, almost as if she could understand me.

The cabin was almost empty, there were more stops to make, and I knew it would get fuller with every stop. Trying to take advantage of it, I lay down on a row of seats, lifting Channa above me, looking her straight in the face.

"Do you think you were sent to me because you're trying to teach me something? Your eyes are too old to be an infant's, I know it." Sadly, she offered no verbal response, only a silly gurgle. I laughed to myself and held her close, stroking her hair.

"Mama's just crazy... but that's alright, I suppose. Your father can balance me pretty well. He's such a wonderful man, Channa.. Such a wonderful man.."

"What are you doing?" Duncan chuckled and nuzzled my neck from behind, acting like a child.

"Playing around. Have I ever mentioned how pretty you are?"

I smiled, rolling my eyes. "I think you've drank too much tonight, Duncan."

He laughed again, hugging me around my waist and holding me tightly. "You didn't answer my question."

"Because I don't believe you're serious; really, how many bottles of that cheap beer have you drank, tonight?"

"Prinzessin, I'll have you know that they wouldn't dare serve me cheap beer. I only take the best." I snorted. "What, do you doubt me?"

"Maybe." He growled and rolled around until he was laying right next to me, facing me.

"I dare you to say that to my face." I smirked and tapped his nose.

"You would drink any cheap beer they give you, as long as it had the right amount of alcohol in it."

"Oh no, Prinzessin. I demand they only serve me the best. The kind that's shipped in all the way from halfway across the world."

"Stop lying," I teased, caressing his cheek. He smiled.

"Fine, don't believe me then." I hummed, continuing to caress his face. He leaned forward and gently kissed my temple, brushing back stray hairs. "I don't know what to do with you sometimes, I love you so much."

"Show me, and don't hold back." Something glinted in his eyes then, and he sat on his elbows.

"Since when were you the one giving the orders, here? Last time I checked, I was your superior, and you were my little mistress." A smile spread across my lips. "What are you going to do about it, Sir?" He chuckled and shook his head.

"I love you, Prinzessin."

"I love you too, Duncan. Now would you please tell me?"

"Do I get a kiss?"

"Only if it's satisfactory."

"You're exasperating sometimes, you know that?"

"Very much so, now go on." He grinned and took my face in his hands. "Sometimes I want to just caress your cheeks, and kiss them, over and over again."

"Only sometimes?" He shot me a look. "Continue."

His hands reached upward, tapping my nose. "Your nose is so dainty, so perfect." His fingers grazed above my nose, tapping each freckle. "Seven beautiful freckles."

"I always hated them; I resented the sun when I was a child." He scoffed. His hands gently traced over my eyelids.

"Two gorgeous, perfect eyes, the color of midnight, the best time of the day."

"And why's that?"

"Because it's when I get to see you." I leaned forward and kissed him gently.

"You're sweet tonight; really, how much did you drink?" He ignored what I said, and his fingers laced themselves in my hair.

"Even through all its been, your hair is so lovely. When we move into our new home, I do wish you'd grow it out." I nodded.

"Shall I go on?"

"No, you're embarrassing me," I muttered, my face already a light pink. He smirked.

"Good."

"You, my beautiful Courtney, are mine. And I never want to give you up."

"Duncan?"

"Yes?"

"...Really, how much did you drink?" He laughed wholeheartedly, embracing me once more.

"Only a few bottles."

"Six?"

"Three."

"You're improving."

"I wouldn't drink at all if you wished it so."

"Be quiet, we both know you don't mean that."

"Maybe."

"You're exasperating sometimes."

"Only sometimes?"

I grinned and kissed his lips to quiet him.

Channa woke me up with her whining. Her colic was getting worse, and I was at a loss for what to do; a few passengers stirred or groaned in their sleep. I apologized profusely, but Channa would not cease, and frankly, I needed sleep.

I wished Duncan was here to help, to quiet her down to do something other than be stuck back at the camp. Alas, wishing did nothing. I reached into the rucksack for her bottle, hoping that she was only hungry-even though I'd fed her only a few hours prior. However, my fingers grazed a different glass container.

I pulled it out, deep in thought; there were pros and cons. One one hand, she would stop crying, and we would be safe until our arrival. On the other hand, it might stint her further development. It was a choice of risk, really. Risk our chance at a future, and her life, or risk a Channa's chance of a normal life. A tough decision indeed.

I cooed soft words to her while I filled the syringe with the liquid. My hands trembled, but I knew that it was for the best, that I probably had no other choice. Besides, I needed sleep too. I needed to have energy for our journey, to make rational decisions. I knew it was selfish, and against 'good mother etiquette', but I really didn't know what else to do.

She cried again as the needle went into her skin. It broke my heart, but I started to sing her to sleep, to try and ward off the pain.

"Small child, all alone in the world. Wanting for nothing, always recieving. Look deep, and you shall find all you ever craved, all your mind ever desired. Once you find it, hold it tight, but let it go. Nothing ever gives satisfaction very long, not even life. But it doesn't matter, because more things will come, and they will be beautiful, just like you."

She was asleep; I sighed in relief.

"Ay, you married?"

"Who's asking?" In the dark, a cat-eyed woman crept towards us.

"Name's Ida. You married?"

"No."

"Good. Listen, I know ya payed your ticket for Switzaland, but I got a job for ya if you interested." Although the looks of her gave me reason to doubt, a job was a job, and God knew I needed one.

"What kind of a job?"

"My brother owns a pub, he be lookin' for some nighttime entertainment, but jazz singers are too expensive, 'cause of the war, yanno?" I nodded, pretending as if I understood. "You got a pretty face, body ain't so bad either, not to mention the pipes."

"Excuse me?"

"Your voice. I heard ya singing back there. You decent, at least. My brother, he pay ya good for a pretty face like that." I hesitated. On one hand, it was a job. On the other, I didn't know these people. They could be trouble.

"Look, I know ya payed your ticket already, but he be dyin' for somebody to fill the position. So get off with me in the morning, talk to my brother, see what he offerin', and if ya don't want it, I'll buy ya another ticket myself. Done deal?"

"I..."

"Good." She smiled and stood. "Get some sleep; you gon' need it." And just like that, I was going to get a job.

Try as I could, I couldn't sleep at all.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I stumbled nervously along the path she pulled me. She snorted.

"Relax, you're a natural." Natural I was not, as I could feel myself trembling something fierce. What was I so scared of, I had to ask. Was it the possibility of getting a job and being of my own? Or was it the possibility of failing and being captured? Either way, the thoughts were quite unnerving.

"Here we are." The place didn't look too bad, actually. Just like a typical inn, only at daytime. The outside view needed work, to attract more people, and the building was huge, as if it was an entire house, not just a pub.

"Is it really only a pub?"

"Naw, we own the entire place, though. We rent out the rooms upstairs for people who want 'em." I nodded, shielding my eyes from the bright sun. "You ready to meet Benny?"

"Is that his name?"

"Yup. Well, Benny's short for Benjamin of course, but you know. Now come on, it's freezin' out here." I stepped into the inn quietly, glad Channa was sound asleep, unable to interrupt what could be a life changing opportunity. Sure, it was selfish to think like that; but I was doing this for us. It was quiet, inside; almost too quiet. A few people ate meals at their places, idly reading the paper, but nobody speaking, or even acknowledging our entrance.

"Wait here, I'll go get him." Before I could say anything else she left the room in a hurry. It was only then that I noticed how odd I looked compared to everybody else. Their clothes were strange, to say the least. The skirts were shorter, suits were tighter, hats sharper, hair curlier; I bit my lip. How was I to ever catch up with all of this? Could I even try to fit in? I sat down on a stool before I collapsed.

I closed my eyes tightly, breathing in deeply. I could do this; I knew I could, it was all a matter of putting myself out there and bringing the confidence to complete it. It was strange to think like this; I'd been oppressed from this part of my personality for so long, that it was almost like it was somebody else acting for me.

That's when I realized that was all it took; acting. I could do that; act the part of a German girl working in an inn. I sighed; except for that little fact that I had no idea where to start. Maybe Ida would teach me; if I got the job, that is.

"That her?" I lifted my head. There Idea was, with what I assumed was Benny, her brother. He stood tall, but muscled; and might I say, he wasn't too bad looking, either. Although I suppose you would have to be, if you owned a place such as this.

"Yeah; what'cha think?" He walked over to me, and subconsciously I put Channa down. I tried to stand straight as he looked at me. His eyes found mine first, and I tried not to flinch. They were almost as black as mine.

"What's your name?"

"Angelika." I didn't hesitate. I wasn't ignorant enough to know that it would be best to fall under a false persona. My appearance was already strange enough as it was, and it was up to me to commit some damage control.

"You can sure look the part. Can you sing?"

"Why don't you find out yourself?" I quipped with a sly grin. He laughed and smiled back.

"I like this girl. Alright, we'll try it out tonight. Give her something to sing, Ida. We'll see how much attention it gets and then we'll discuss a future arrangement."

"You mean... I got the job, just like that?" He laughed again, pinching my cheek before walking away.

"She'll do." I rubbed my cheek, smiling a little.

"That's Benny for you. Meanwhile, you can stay in one of the rooms up there. They really aren't so bad. You got a bed, a kitchen, a fireplace and stuff. I'll show ya to your room."

"Wait, Ida?"

"Yeah?"

"What exactly do I.. wear... to preform...?" She laughed, pulling my arm.

"This is going to be fun."

_Dear Duncan, _

_ I know you must be worried. Channa and I are fine, really. We just had a change in location. I got a job. I'm working in an inn, as a singer; I'll disclose the address if you'd like to write back. Channa and I miss you dearly, we wish you'd join us soon. But for the meanwhile, I think we'll be fine. I'll be fine._

_Love you with all my heart,_

_Angelika_

And so Channa and mine's life began. It was really simple; every night I sang downstairs, the inn got more profit, thus giving me higher wages. I was allowed to remain living upstairs, under the due condition that Channa was not allowed downstairs in the night while I sang. Ida watched her then, and had really taken a liking to her. She grew up so quickly.

How the months flew by when you have a baby to watch over. Her skin became more lush and porcelain-like, her dark curls grew like weeds; I couldn't bear to cut them, they were too beautiful. Her eyes remained blue as her father's; innocent and wise at the same time. I bought her every pink, frilly thing I could. When her hair was long enough, I tied ribbons in it and watched her grow into a beautiful fairy-child right before my eyes.

Every day I walked with her into the village, I had to buy her something new; and imagine, she was only nine months old, and couldn't speak yet. Everybody that saw her gushed about her beauty, and she smiled back like the little princess she was. Her first smile was so faltering, so sly as if she knew exactly what she were doing. I'd lifted her up immediately after, planting kisses on her warm cheeks, while she only continued to smile, almost never stopping.

She babbled often, mostly to herself, but often to me. I encouraged it, wanting her to speak more than anything. She enjoyed laughing to herself and reaching for me, despising if I wasn't in the room with her; I felt the same way. Besides when I had to work, I never let her out of my sight. She came into town with me everyday, and pointed to the little birds who pecked at her carriage.

I wasn't envious of the birds anymore.

I hadn't heard back from Duncan since I wrote him last; I thought about him everyday that passed. When Channa smiled, I cried, because her father should have seen that smile too. I made sure she knew about him; I told her stories about him every night, and let her memorize the sole picture of him I had-I'd stolen a picture of him one night when he wasn't paying attention; it was such a lovely picture, he was smiling in his uniform. There wasn't a sole night I didn't dream of him and wake up, grasping at the sheets beside me, hoping he was by my side, crying in frustration when he wasn't.

Benny and Ida proved great friends. We dined with them every night, and Benny served wonderful to Channa. I loved that she was able to have some type of male figure in her life, to fill a different type of role than her absent father. No, I did not think that Benny could take his place, but it was nice that somebody could fill the role while he was absent. He took to her very quickly, always wanting to hold and coddle her. He and Ida didn't hesitate to shower her with gifts either. I was worried she was going to be spoiled, but she only smiled and accepted everybody's gifts.

Currently, she lay on the floor, babbling to her small toys and object. "Nananana," her high voice rang, rolling over on the carpet. I smiled and picked her up, chuckling at her whines of being disturbed from play. "Can you say Mama?"

"Nananana."

"No, Mama." She giggled and shook her head, cuddling her face into my chest. I smiled warmly and stood, walking around our small home.

"You're such a big girl; can you believe it? Almost a year old..." Almost a year since I'd seen her father. I wondered if he still thought about it, if he knew that Christmas was a little more than a month away, and that Channa's birthday was coming up. I shook my head, deciding it best to distract myself before I became to absorbed in such thoughts.

"What do you say we go down to the market and see if we can find something nice, hm? Maybe your Auntie Ida could come with us." She smiled brightly, and I kissed her head before buttoning her up in a thick jacket and a hat. I gently laid her in the cradle before grabbing my own coat, fluffing my hair in the mirror. Nine months, and I looked splendid.

Thanks to Ida, the consultancy of many salesladies, and persistence of my dear hairdresser, I finally looked normal. My body didn't look so deathly ill any longer; I could fit into all of the nice dresses I bought easily, without any sharp bones protruding anymore. Ida didn't ask, she just kept looking for more dresses. Despite what my hairdresser and Ida thought, I refused to wear the short, curly look that was so in style with all the young ladies. No, I grew my hair out as fast as I could; it hung to my upper back, now, much to my pleasure. I curled it at night when I preformed, or tied it up. The only downside was Channa; she loved to pull on it.

I stopped by the bar counter, where Ida was polishing the mugs. "Don't you ever get tired of that?" She stopped and looked up, grinning at us merrily.

"Sure. Where you two off to?"

"We're going to the marketplace; would you like to come? I think Channa would enjoy your company very much." Ida leaned over and tapped Channa's nose.

"Sure I'll come. Just lemme get my coat." I nodded and walked outside, shivering from the chilly wind. I leaned down and fastened Channa's coat a little tighter and made sure the blanket was on her before shaking my hair out and pulling a hat over my head. Ida stepped out just then and we walked the short distance to the marketplace.

"She sure grows up fast, doesn't she?"

"Oh yes," I answered, glancing at all the clothes in the windows. "Soon she'll be talking up a storm, and walking so fast it'll take all three of us to make sure she doesn't get lost in the Inn." Ida chuckled and pulled on her gloves.

"Sure. Benny loves her; I think he should have his own kid. He's always taken a real shine to the little 'uns."

"He hasn't ever settled down with a girl?" I asked curiously, pausing by one of my favorite shoppes.

"Not that I know of. He got his heart real hurt a few years back, wasn't too keen on finding another girl since." I nodded, continuing to walk.

"He seems like a really good guy. I'm sure he'll settle down sooner rather than later." We both fell quiet. We stopped by the bridal shop, and my heart ached a little, just like it did every time we saw it. The dress in the window wasn't my favorite, there was one in the back that was more to my liking. Despite my better judgements, I had foolishly tried it on months earlier. I had been thinking of Duncan and our alleged engagement, then. The ring on my finger had never felt so hot.

"How about you, Ida? Ever fallen in love?" She shook her head.

"Naw. I'm still waiting for my prince charming. Benny tries to set me up with one of his buds now and then, but none of them take a real interest in the bar tender." She grinned. "However, they do like the lovely young singer with the unusual long hair." I rolled my eyes at her, smiling a little. "But I see you with that ring on your finger. Plus the little munchkin. Was he special?" I nodded, the tears brimming as soon as I thought about it.

"He still is. I never stopped loving him. We're waiting for him to come home."

"And what if he doesn't?" I tried not to let her words cut my heart.

"Then he doesn't."

"Would you ever settle down again?" I bit my lip and shook my head, letting out a shaky shudder. The snow began to fall, lightly.

"I don't think I could."

Ida sighed and rubbed her arms. "That's a real shame, then. I think Benny's taken a real shine to you too." I gasped and lightly slapped her arm.

"You naughty person. Are you trying to set me up with your brother?" She laughed and shrugged.

"Maybe. But we should probably head back; the snow's gonna be coming down thick, and we don't want Channa catching cold now, do we?" I smiled down at my child and let her grab hold to my finger.

"No, I suppose we don't. Let's go home."

The walk home was filled with laughter; but the back of my mind remained troubled as always. I couldn't look Benny in the eye as he pulled his sister's plaits and planted kisses on Channa's cheeks. He asked if I would like Christmas off, I told him I would. I was about to head upstairs, when he grabbed my arm.

"Ay, before I forget. There was a letter addressed to you in the mail." I rolled my eyes; Benny always liked to trick me with fake letters, in them, containing some type of cheesy poetry, and my paycheck for the week. I grabbed it out of his hands and went upstairs.

"What do you say I give you a nice bath, and then we cuddle up by the fire to read a story, hm?" I mused to my child, picking her up and setting the letter down on the table as soon as I stepped through the door. She giggled and clapped, and I set her in her playpen before going to start the bath.

Only after I bathed and fed her did I bother to open the silly letter that I wasn't really in the mood for. When I saw what was written, I screamed.

_Prinzessin,_

_ I'm coming to visit. _

_ -Duncan_


End file.
